Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
