i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
