Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize