just tell him i said nine months
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
