hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
