then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
