Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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