i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
no, he came in my armpit
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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