you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
