honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
