You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think my moral compass just broke
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
