I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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