I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
