that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
