WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize