Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
