After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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