He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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