Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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