think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
