pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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