he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
