one might say we're banned from that church
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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