I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
