i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
