there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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