Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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