She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
