What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize