McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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