i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
