had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
