I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
