dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
