There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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