i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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