I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
