It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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