Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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