Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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