My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
