Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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