I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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