this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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