Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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