Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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