Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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