oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
