wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
