whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
