She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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