Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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