Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize