Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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