Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
