Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
