And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
